Of course, million dollar views around here cost two million dollars.
I haven’t had much time or energy to post lately. It’s been a pretty hectic 2-3 weeks, starting with learning that my roommates - both of them - don’t intend stay past New Year’s Eve. Suddenly, instead of comfortably relaxing in my chair leaking crumbs on a carpet I don’t own, I’m running around scouting out a new location to plant the colonial flag of Allenstown, population one. With a stewing rental market resulting from a dismal housing market, I figured I ought to finally look at home ownership.
Since that decision, I’ve been completely swamped with trying to understand what the term “buying a house” means. Sure, there’s different types of housing, different arrangements, potential resale value, and such considerations; then there’s the mortgage, the brokers and lenders, and the fees. Oh, the fees.
One thing I’ve learned going through this is that the housing industry makes a ton of money from commissions, and anyone so much as looks at you while you’re buying a house gets a cut of the proceedings:
- Of course, the city and county get to tax your property, regardless of whether you actually own any land.
- Your agent gets a good chuck of change too, mostly to cover the costs of driving you from property to property and listening to your sob stories about how housing is nigh unaffordable.
- The mortgage broker gets money for finding you money to borrow.
- The mortgage loaner gets money for borrowing money to you.
- The Homeowner’s Association (for condos) gets money because, well, the walls don’t paint themselves, and the pretty fountain outside needs to be filtered for pee and bird crap.
- The courier, notary, recorder, and probably garage men get money, because they don’t work for free.
- Printing the document that lists all these fees apparently requires a fee.
And the headache resulting from this entire process is compounded by the ridiculous amounts of wealth some seem to possess, seemingly by magic, in some parts of the Bay Area. The subprime crisis and subsequent housing downtown dominating the airwaves of the past year barely brushed the Greater San Francisco region. Prices - at least in the coveted “Real Bay Area” - never really dropped and are actually still rising in some parts, contrary to economic or common logic.
Solution? Live in a closet. For $300,000.